Eulogy for Ciocia Helen Mallon (Aug 11, 1919 - May 20, 2011)

My aunt died on Friday May 20th 2011. I wrote the eulogy and some wanted to read it so I am posting a copy here. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to write.

Eulogy for Helene Mallon – 5/24/11

I am a stubborn Polack – like my aunt - and when I was told there was not going to be a eulogy I had to write one.

I have never written a eulogy but have heard way too many. Many of you know I am very computer literate, so of course I searched for examples online only to find they charge $22.95 plus S&H for a eulogy kit that includes a CD, poems and cheat sheets. I was surprised and appalled so I closed the browser and started writing. I apologize for the length but I have a lot to say.

Ciocia Helen! That’s what we called her and our kids call her that too. Funny thing is now I am a Ciocia and I feel honored to follow in those shoes. Ciocia Helen was a big part of my life and I am sure she has had an impact on everyone who knew her. We all knew her as a strong, vibrant, dedicated Mother, Daughter, Sister, Wife, Aunt and Friend.

Since I was young and after Ba died, we had the pleasure of having her move in with Dzia dzia next door and NO everyday was not sunshine and lollipops, but we did have a lot of fun. We got to know her practically as our second mother. I don’t remember many of the details of earlier days but we were very lucky to have our family so close to us. That may have been the foundation we model our family after. My brothers and sister learned early on that family is definitely the most important and we saw this with the intensity between my mom and ciocia Helen. They were so close, almost inseparable as I am with my sister. Just ask her husband Mike. I am blessed to have gotten that from Ciocia Helen and my mom.

She did have a sternness about her, (to put it mildly) but as I have experienced in my own life, the trials she went thru gave her the strength to deal with whatever came along in the only way she knew how – Fearless and Head On! Nothing got in her way and if it did, well she just plowed thru it with fierce determination.

She went out of her way to make sure everything she did was meticulously complete. Some opinions may have been that she went a bit overboard at times but in hindsight you realize she was right. I recall the many times she was involved with either one of her own – or one of our moves, every box she labeled had NO question as to what was in them – right down to the color of the stripes on the glasses inside. You never had to open a box she packed to know what was in it - we didn’t see the value in that until we needed something and all our boxes just read ‘glasses’ . We wished we were as thorough!

Most of you know she was a successful real estate broker, and I myself spent many days in her offices playing, working and even sitting in open houses with her. She was even a monumental part in the purchase of my home 12 years ago. You will never meet anyone more focused on the task at hand with everything she does.

Although Real estate was her life’s blood, I believe her passion was in her trees. She decorated the Most beautiful Christmas trees I have ever seen. Each one different and special with a touch only she could add. Every branch was symmetrically decorated with just the right pieces and details to make them perfect. If you are lucky enough to have gotten one, then you have a unique piece of her passion for beauty. But more than just the trees, the fun and banter between her and my mom during their crafting sessions was priceless.

As the days passed, it wasn’t as easy for her to get out and join us at all of our gatherings but when she did we certainly enjoyed her presence. Robyn and I spent many hours visiting her at home listening and telling stories, laughing, crying and just having a good time. I remember calling her and asking if I could stop by and visit and told her I was bringing my friend Jake. She got primped up with lipstick and all and I walked in with Jake, my St Bernard. Boy was she surprised when we saw my friend was a dog, but she always loved when we visited. He was a real therapy dog and he did his job because he made her smile – I can’t say the same for the cat though.

Of all my brothers and sister, I always felt a special closeness to her. Maybe it was because since my dad was out of town the day I was born – she stepped in. She continued to tell me the story of my birthday almost every time I saw her including when we went there 2 weeks ago. I am glad I got to hear the story of her talking to my dad on the phone, one more time.

I know I am missing a lot more stories like the birthday mass cards and the puppies but we can share those later.

Betty and Joanie, I know these last few weeks and days were trying and difficult for you and you were faced with many challenges you haven’t had before. I pray you find the strength to continue with a smile on your face holding on to your mothers loving memory’s to pull you forward. You did everything to make your mom as comfortable as possible and I know she is pleased. I also know that there is a large hole in your hearts at the loss of your mother, as there is in ours for my mother and now for yours. I can tell you that space will never be filled, but know that your mother loved you more than you can ever imagine and we all know that she is at peace.

I find comfort in knowing that all the siblings, Flo, Phil, Emily and now Ciocia Helen are all together once again and I am sure they are planning some real fun stuff for us up there – I don’t know if we should be excited or afraid.

Everyone who met Ciocia Helen knew exactly who she was, and what she was, and best of all there was never a dull moment. At the end of the day, sometime you just had sit back and smile. I believe everyone in this room, whether it is learning of something To do, or something Not to do, we are all better people for knowing her.

Ciocia Helen, I am saddened that you are no longer here with us on this earth but I am happy that you told me you loved me just this past Tuesday. You will always hold a special place in mine and all the hearts here. We Love you and you will be missed more than you will ever know.

Oh and Cioch - Tell Mom and Dad we said Hi!

by:Karen A. Liinangi 5/24/11